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Hi Guys,
On a lighter note from my other threads. I just wanted to ask you guys about your experiences of being pregnant/being partner to someone pregnant?
Now is not the time but I am definantely broody, trouble is my first experience of pregnancy (8 yrs ago) was hell. Afterwards I begged doctors to sterilise me as I didnt ever want to go through it again. Of course they said no coz I was literally off the labour ward and only 24. I just want to know if anyone else had a horrible pregnancy first time and then a nice easy (if thats possible) one second or third time round?
And I am not talking about labour that was hell too but over in 27 hours so I will happily do that again, I mean the 40 weeks of sickness, kidney infections, heartburn, haemorrhoids (ss), swollen ankles, hot sweats etc etc.
I hope someone can inform me that their not always like that?
Thanks for replying Louise,
Aw you have been through the mill with your pregnancies havent you?! Im sorry about the stillbirth how awful.
I know when you get a lovely healthy baby at the end of it it is worth all the trauma of pregnancy and birth..... but I seem to have created some kind of phobia of being pregnant. I didnt have any specific illness during mine I was just totally exhausted and had kidney infections literally every month. I wasnt sick that much because I just couldnt eat (I actually lost 3 stone during the course of my pregnancy - I was 12 stone at the start and just under 8 stone the day I gave birth which was 2 weeks after my due date!) When i could eat eat, bizarrely, I could only eat things that were white - plain white rice, dry white bread, boiled potatoes - it was crazy!
I would happily give birth again even though i delivered naturally and ended up in theatre afterwards because my cervix collapsed. It was painful but not as emotionally draining as the pregnancy itself.
I do in part thing the fact I was in a violent relationship throughout my pregnancy may have added to my anxiety about being pregnant now. I am seriously considering adoption for future children beacuse of it but that wouldnt be a bad thing because there are plenty of children in need of good homes.
Yes indeed there are, littleangel.
When my dad's duodenal ulcer flared up he could only eat white things too, so it must be to do with them being refined and gentler on the digestion.
Do you ever watch that programme on Channel 4 called "One Born Every Minute"? It is filmed in a hospital and shows women giving birth and talking about their pregnancies and parenthood.
Yeah I do. Thats what makes me broody 
but they focus more on the birth side of it and I have no fears of giving birth just being pregnant.
So crazy that your dad could only eat white things too, thats the first time i have ever heard of anyone else having the same thing - I feel slightly more normal now lol
Lol, my mum always used to tell him off and say it was his own fault because he had had a drink of beer that had set it off!
Yes I know the programme is more about the births but still fascinating,
It is a shame that no-one, not even a midwife or doctor, can tell you what another pregnancy would be like, though; At least then you could make an informed decision
I decided I wasn't cut out for pregnancy - even though I did have four! I had a miscarriage which was devastating.
Louise, I'm sorry for your loss.
I watched one OBEM. which was good. Takes me back - but happy to say I don't get broody 
Wasnt cut out for pregnancy - but had four children, crikey! So sorry about your miscarriage it is awful. I too had a miscarriage when I was 19 but I didnt know I was pregnant. I obviously had the physical pain but because I hadnt realised I was carrying a baby (and didnt want one at that time) I didnt suffer too much emotionally.
I have always said I want 4 children (2 boys and 2 girls - as if you can choose lol) so I know I will definately have more but not sure if I will carry them myself or adopt as my phobia of being pregnant is so severe. I get so angry at myself about it because I know that being pregnant is the greatest gift of all and just wish I could break through my anxiety.
Sorry to hear you get angry about it. Phobias are phobias. I don't get cross with myself for being scared of heights, for example. Adoption would be a really good alternative though.
Yeah I also have the heights phobia (and a phobia of mice and rats -eek!) but I find phobias so life-limiting I wish I could combat all of them really.
My phobia of heights has been the cause of much amusement to all my friends lol If I werent so scared at the time I would have to laugh myself too. I have a tendency to drop to the floor when I am too high - not ideal when crossing a bridge or something lol (I literally crawl over bridges)
Probably off topic - but is to do with heights. Before I had children I used to regularly walk over Menai Bridge - pretty high - which joins Anglesey to the mainland.
When I had the eldest, I went for one of my usual walks, but got to the bridge with the pram and in the end I had to turn around, as I just couldn't make myself go across with the pram!! 
lol crazy isnt it?! Being scared of heights means i dont particularly like flying (ok I hate it) but when I first went on a plane with my daughter I was a total wreck. I think it was the fact that I am so used to being protective of her but obviously on a plane you I had to put her safety in the pilots hands and it was horrible. Luckily she wasnt the slightest bit fazed by flying, not excited not scared not... anything! All she wanted to know was wat foood we would be eating lol
You wouldn't get me on a plane...!!!
I lurrved being pregnant, even though I was in an abusive relationship it made me rethink life and realise I had to get out to protect my baby from seeing his/her father talk to me so badly.
I was 21, so my body was fit and well and I used to walk around in catsuits as I loved my bump so much!!
I sometimes gets broody, but then not for long, I couldn't bear to go back to being trapped by school timetables, running around a play park, long nights etc etc!
If you were to have another one now littleangel, it would take up a lot of your time (and money!!) are you currently seeing anyone?
I do have a partner of 5 years. Bless him he has been through the mill with me because of how my ex treated me. I wont move in with him either and only let him stay a few nights a week. But he has stuck around and is good to me and more importantly my daughter who just loves him to death (mostly coz he takes her side on everything and cant bring himself to say no to anything she asks for!)
I couldnt have one right now because I am studying but I want some more kids once I graduate before I start my career (and get too old!). I dont mind the time factor because I miss it so much now my daughter doesnt need me (well want me!) to help her get dressed, brush her teeth or even bath her etc. I feel lost since she started getting her little independence and preferring to play with her friends than me 
apparantly I am no good at playing 'teachers' lol
Money could always be an issue but I have way more now than I did when I had my daughter and I know no matter what I will get by so that wouldnt put me off.
Aww it sounds lovely that your daughter has your partner, its what every little girl needs, a grown male doting on everything they say!!
So, you are thinking that you would continue with babies in a couple of years? Does your partner have children? Do you talk about it regularly? Would you live together if you got pregnant?
My partner doesnt have any children (but if you ask him he will say he has a daughter!). He would love to have children in the future ( he a bit younger than me, he 27 Im 32) and he says when we do have them he wants us to get married and he wants us to move in together.
Eeek! I personally have ever agreed with marriage for me because I am not religious and dont see the point. He on the other hand is religious so we will have to discuss that (push comes to shove I would probably marry him). I really am not sure about ever living with a man again to be honest. My ex has definately put me off. I know they are not all like him but I love having my own space and dont think I would easily give that up.I have no qualms about managing a baby on my own coz even though I lived with the ex I did everything on my own. I guess I will just have to see what happens.
All my pregnancies were different and if i am honest with the first three i really did not enjoy being pregnant and could not wait for D day, then funnily with the fourth i did not want to give birth and even though i had sickness and was exhausted i had this amazing calmness.
The thing that i found most difficult was the getting back into baby routine, at the time my then youngest was four and quite independent, as were the other two, so i suppose i had got out of the having to do everything stage and had started having abit of a life for myself (time for me mostly) and in the early days i lost that time for myself.
My other children had issues adjusting to the change of having a baby in the house, they were at the beginning doing alot of attention seeking, which on top of everything else was exhausting and i would often find myself mourning the loss of that calm feeling and my baby bump.
littleangel would your partner agree to a situation where you live seperately if you had a child together? I wondered if you had considered counselling for the trust issues?
I only say this as this was something i myself had issues with and was causing problems in other areas of my life, i had some CBT and counselling, which really helped me to identify and work through stratergies as in my case i was sabotageing my realtionships in order to protect myself, which eventually made me become really isolated and seemed to confirm my view at the time that men can't be trusted.
Since then i have found that there are some good guy's out there i just had to have the right attitude to see them.
Hi Sally,
Funny you should mention CBT because I have been referred for that just to work on my overall anxiety. I have tried counselling in the past but I just dont like it. I am a very descriptive person so I can happily relay stories of things that happen to me but I cant talk about feelings. I tend to use humour a lot and my last counsellor said I am too detached! (I have no problems with affection or anything like that tho!)
Im not sure what CBT actually involves but I am hoping it can work for me. We will see...
As for my partner, he really does not want to agree to having children and living apart. He is very hands on (with my daughter) and he struggles with us not living together now. Maybe one day I will allow him to move in.
Good luck with that, little angel. CBT is a much more "thinking" sort of therapy so it might suit you more than Person-Centred counselling
Just to show that it can all work: Being pregnant and giving birth for me is a doddle (Sorry all!!!), morning sickness a myth and it really doesn't hurt that much.
I am ducking because everyone will be throwing things at me now! But you did ask for experiences and I've had four, all textbook and very easy. :-)
That's fab!
That is good though. I had post traumatic stress after the fourth!
Hopeful - im jealous 
Glad you have had it so easy with yours. Birth aint that much of an issue for me because no matter how bad it is I can see the end, but 9 months of being pregnant - eek!
My best friend recently had her second child and we were prgenant together the first time round we both went through hell so when she got pregnant this time I said I will wait and see how this one goes so I know if I can be brave enough to do it again. Her second one was worse than her first - 6 admissions to hospital! (we both had two admissions first time). She has actually got a date for sterilisation now as she is adamant never again! lol
Hi little angel
What an interesting topic!
It is my belief that every pregnancy is different.....however certain problems will get worse with successive pregnancies, such as difficulties with the symphysis pubis, where the ligaments that join the bones at the front of the pelvis weaken and give a lot of pelvic pain, but only a small percentage of women experience it.
My experiences of pregnancy: I have two boys and before that I had a pregnancy that resulted in premature stillbirth. The first pregnancy I felt rubbish all the time, sick and tired and although emotionally dreadul to go through the labour knowing that my baby had already died, within 24 hours of it, I felt so WELL again physically that I truly appreciated how awful the pregnancy had been. Second one, I was fine, some mild sickness around weeks 9 and 10 and my only problem was being tired throughout and my fingers and ankles swelled at the end but it was high summer. Third one, sickness again, quite severe till 16 weeks then stopped overnight and I was a fit as a fiddle till week 38 when I got very uncomfy, as I think any woman at 38 weeks would be, so all my three were different
Births different too: thinking about the two live births, number one was a total nightmare with forceps, blood transfusions and Special Care. With the youngest I had no pain relief, a straightforward birth (although with stitches) and then got straight off the delivery bed and went for a bath