Been there, done that, raised the kids, wrote the book!

 Hello to all you fellow single parents out there! My name is Brian Rowlands and I am a single father to two, now grown, children. I would like to share with you, albeit briefly, my story.

 In the late summer of 1999, a year after moving 300 miles to a small coastal fishing village to start a new ‘dream’ life, my then wife decided that she wanted a new life solely for herself and left to pursue this, leaving me broken and with two very demanding young children to look after and raise. My daughter was 8 years old and my son 6 years old.

 Initially I fell into a deep and dark pit of despair and depression, turning to alcohol to alleviate and numb the devastating and debilitating pain I was experiencing. Through all of this I somehow managed to see to my children’s basic needs, feeding, clothing, schooling, etc.

 It wasn’t too long before it all got too much for me and I moved the children and myself the 300 miles back to our native home where, with the help of family and friends, I managed to more or less come to terms with what had happened and I began the long climb back up to recovery.

 What followed was a rollercoaster ride of events that witnessed my children and I lurch from one disaster to another, rising to each challenge life threw our way, only for it often to be thrown back at us. During the next 10 years we were to move back to the coast in pursuit of our original dream, fighting life’s many adversities and battling to carve out some kind of life for ourselves and gain what I wished for my children more than anything else, that being stability.

 Through my own disastrous relationships with prospective new partners, constant moving homes, (11 different homes in 5 years!), heart braking medical problems and much, much more, we somehow managed to eventually find some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

 Two years ago I was prompted to sit down and write our story in its entirety and publish it in book form. I did this because I really felt it was a tale that needed telling and also, I hoped I could inspire and help others going through a similar experience that my children and I had gone through. This, I am proud to say, I have achieved as I have had many a heart-warming accolade from people who have read my book, saying just how much inspiration they had taken from our story and how much they had enjoyed reading about our exploits.

 As well as cataloguing the daily physical events that transpired, I also investigate the complex issues relating to single parenthood and their effect on both my children and myself; how my children reacted mentally (both short and long term) to their mother leaving them, the emotional repercussions, etc. How I coped emotionally with my wife leaving me and how I eventually learned to ‘let go’ and move forward with my life.

 I can thoroughly recommend to anyone out there going through a difficult period of life, write it down. Even if it is for no more than your own private viewing it is incredibly therapeutic and can release a lot of pent up frustration and tension. It certainly worked for me and in doing so helped others as well, a win/win situation all round!

 Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I wish you well in all that you do and whatever you are going through and remember, children don’t ask to be born and they deserve all the love and happiness possible to be bestowed upon them. Happy Parenting!

Brian Rowlands