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So, i had baby young, im now in my 20's with a 3 year old as a single parent. I had a casual night out two nights ago, my friends wanted to get 'hammered', to put it simply, their view of alcohol is similarly how i viewed it as a 17 yr old teenager. Obvisouly, this has now changed,
So, i have a mixture of emotions (a) i feel left out a bit (although i dont want to drink to excess, im happy to be a mum at home in the evening most nights) (b) i feel as if nobody wants to do what i want i.e. just have a clam evening out (c) i feel perhaps as if i will never meet someone who will want the clam life that i want, (i dont mind alcocol and a night out here and there, but id rather have a chilll out infront of the tv, maybe do something mroe calm, so that when i get up the next morning, i feel ok to look after my child).
Im a bit annoyed to be honest, anybody else have this experinece at all??
Lots of good ideas, Poppy10 :-)
The fact is, pinklilly, that you have bcome more mature than your friends. They will catch you up, especially when they become parents. My son is 23 and although he and his friends do go out drinking, they no longer go clubbing and are as interested in films/chats/meals as "getting hammered" I think it is something you are going to have to accept until they catch up with you but if they won't do things like Poppy10 suggested, you may have to think about widening your social circle and meeting new people as well, who DO want a calm night out!
Have a look at our article Making New Friends for some ideas.
hi well i was 21 when i had my first child, she is now 19 half, im 41 now,but stil like my nights out, i go clubbin, but i can take it or leave it now, i use gop out every weekend but now i enjoy night out tht is planned, when ur with kids all time u need tolet off steam way i see itx
hi all, some great ideas, and i think its a good idea to perhaps plan a bit more what type of ight id like to have and let my group of friends know beforehand, then they are awrae and i am aware! :)
and louise - i think widening my social group would be a good idea, although im not entirely sure how, but im going to try i think :)
thank all,
HI pink lilly, have a look at the link that Louise left Making New Friends (above in bold), that has lots of ways for single parents to make new friends.
I think that you sound like a great mummy and high five to you because rather than acting selfishly you are putting your child first.
I wonder if on another night out with these particular friends you could arrange to meet one or two of them earlier? So you could have a couple of drinks at home, almost as soon as you are free, then your whole night can end earlier, the others can carry on as they wish, but you would have had 'your' time and feel happy leaving before them?
Hey Pink Lilly,
I wasn't that young (25) when I had my first child but was the first of my friendship set to have a child. I remember when I had a valued evening to go out getting really irritated with my friends as they faffed about and the evening got later and later and thinking please guys this is my only night out for a while and I have to get up in the morning!. The truth is, they just didn't get it and I had a few apologies years later when they became parents!.
I'm quite a bit older now but watching from afar I guess a lot of your age group don't feel they've had a good night unless they got "hammered" . Your priorities have shifted as you have responsibilities and a gorgeous person to care for. As hard as it is try to accept they're not concious that they are annoying you. Can you go out with them but not feel the need to match them in their drinking and leave at a fairly decent time?. Could you suggest an alternative kind of evening, say a meal with a few drinks or the cinema or even better a comedy night?.
Are there any of the group who would come to your's for a Dvd, pizza night?.
Good luck :)