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My head hurting like it needs a shortsectionstay in hospital.
we have a mouse. humane trap has deterred it.
think gonna have to go death trap way.
My daughter has my nose. as in it doesn't funtion other than to fill up with snot and leave you unable to breathe and sleep without exhausting yourself out via crying first.
my son is arguing about sleep and food.
visions of an adult anorexic insomniac.
I want to just leave.
leave them with their dad who is trying hard to go off whatever rails he was on when living here.
nana is ill, laryngytus, narcolepsy, colds, harmones, menopause, old age...
they sleep well at hers on a diet of chocolate and running around feral near a stream.
The friend who stayed briefly reminded me of the difference between blood and water, and also bad family's that aren't worth shi*t anyway. opinionated, having had her daughter share a bed with her till 15 as she couldn't do the crying thing, she then treats L's tears with such disrespect that only unlove can provide.
and I laugh at the silliness. I mean really?
'they aren't ugly but you don't want them too good looking as someone would steal them'
proving that only ones own genes are attractive in the eye of the beholder. it's so stupid. what a stupid comment.. as most of hers were... just frustrating.. and just makes me feel ever lonelier when the closest thing to family that I have is.. So I do undertstand why their dad would cuts his own off... just so frustrating... and sure I know I'm difficult... my best friend said me and dad were so good together as he seemed to 'get' me. which not a lot of people do. apparently.
life is lonely.
thank you:)
I shall try vix... just given up really... vix never really helped me.. nothing's really helped me with it.
yes.. food attention.. tried everything...given up today. will start again tomo. he eats a good breakfast, and lunch most days. just dinner becomes the fight.
nana has only just turned 53 and so never really think of her as frail... but... yeah...
and yes the mouse... hoping it is just the one...
and yes supportive friends are hard to find... but thank you, I do love your user name - your fave drink;)
It is my favourite drink - I have a pint glass of it now!
I was awful with sniffles and sinus. Many a night Mum had me in a steamy bathroom with Vicks in hot water and me inhaling! My daughter is pretty similar too. She knows the bathroom routine quite well (and she's 17 now!). Propped up on pillows too can help?
Its good that your son is having a good breakfast and lunch.
Nana is very young, and I hope she gets better soon. I'm 48 (and nearly 8 months!!), so I do apologise for thinking she was older.
My children always wanted to keep the mice 
Hi JaneHope. Sorry you are feeling so low tonight. Try rubbing Vicks on daughter's chest too, with dabs of it on hankerchiefs dotted round the room at night. Pop into the chemist tomorrow to see what else they can recommend. Blocked noses are awful! Your son's eating, he will eat when he is hungry, so try not to make a big deal with him. If he sees you reacting to it, chances are, he'll do it all the more. As for your friend's comments, well, I'm gobsmacked really, and would feel exactly the way you're feeling now. Like Sparkling says, an e.mail every now and again. Really hope things pick up for you in the next day or two. xx
Hi janehope, awwwh not a good day for you, do hope things improve soon and you are all well again xxx
Hi JaneHope
What a disappointment the visit must have been! There was no call at all for those remarks and it is all very well for her if her kids are grown up now, it is tough at the coal face of pre-school care and you do the best that you can do. All children cry. Simple as. And as long as you see how lovely your children are, who cares what she thinks? 
Sometimes friends can become "frenemies"
The others have given you some good comments about the food and the blocked nose. Please do not think of dinner with your son as a "fight", instead maybe "L isn't interested in eating much dinner at the moment". Olbas oil is good for blocked noses but I am not sure what the minimum age limit is....however it might help you yourself.
Hope today is a better day 
Hi JaneHope
You were feeling terribly lonely yesterday, I hope that you felt a little supported by One Space, we are here for you.
Sleeping propped up on pillows sounds like a more comfortable sleep if you are snotty.
When I was young I used to have Otrivine nasal drops, they completely clear the nasal passage and you can breathe freely. However I have just been looking on the web (to remember their name) and seen that in Oct 09 they were not recommended for children under the age of 6, which I think your children are??
The adult ones might be useful for you though??
Please remember to research any suggestions made regarding medicine as we are not doctors or medical experts.
Mealtimes can be stressful for everyone, especially as it is the end of the day, you are tired and the last thing you need is a battle, have a look at this video, for a tip on Good Eating Techniques for fussy eaters.
Is your nana is feeling a bit better or has she been ill a while?
I also want to repeat what someone else said, a real friend wants whats best for us, we should share sympathy, empathy and compassion with each other and be honest with each other whilst keeping best interests at heart. There needs to be trust and no judgement.
In the past I have continued friendships with people where I have felt judged, villified, depressed etc etc, now I see they are just a drain on my resources! It may sound harsh, but actually when you are parenting alone, you need only positive, encouraging influences in our lives, as we do so much of our own guilt trips, we don't need a 'friend' to join in too!
From your messages on these boards I don't see that there is anything particularly difficult about 'getting' you.
It sounds like you could do with some positive affirmations in your life. How about starting with 'I love and approve of myself'? Repeat this to yourself today over and over again, when you are walking, cooking, washing, cleaning. Lots and lots of times, then come back on tomorrow and let me know how you feel!
Oh Anna! I can't stand positive affirmations!!! LOL and crying at same time.
If it helps to hear, my week got better... but.. this weekend... this day of the year...
To put it bluntly have googled 'i hate my mother' and found unfortunately not alone... almost overwhelmingly...
I vowed as a teenager, never to have kids. and on black days I always remember that. My mother is... nearly faultless, I just struggle with this complete juxtoposition of emotions towards her... and when I feel so wretched towards her, still after what should be my hormonal years past... I don't expect better from my own.. I can't stand the over sentimentality that she ecks.
She bends over backwards for me and will jump as high as... and I hate it. I ask for nothing and she will give that and then I still get annoyed with her.
She is still ill. she's always tired from narcolepsy. She had a terrible opperation on her salivery glands a couple years ago and since then has been even iller. I really wish she'd seek compensation from NHS but that seems to be one fight she isn't prepared to have and yet she chases other things instead - involved in local parish council.. or trying to be... but agh. I feel terrible pressure that I cannot just walk away from her as I am her only family. Hell she moved because I advised her to.
I just want to not see her for a month. I love not seeing her for a month. but with birthdays and mothers days I don't know if that's possible and now she's trying to arrange an evening when we can go have a meal one to one whilst a friend baby sits kids. And I hate that she's turned around on their dad. seeing him for what he is. She used to try and give equal support.
I mean really, could I be a more complaining daughter?
On son's eating habbits : ignoring and letting it slide results in him waking at 2am hungry and unable to sleep.
So I have to make sure he eats as I find it so difficult to get back to sleep if woken that .. oh god I'm just so selfish.
On daughters nose: I have used olbas oil on napkins in room in past.. really should do something for her now but I don't hear her in the night, I've moved S out of her(their) room as he was waking her up and he's now in same room as me. and if he eats well, he sleeps relatively well. but he used to keep me aware of his sisters waking. their dad is super hearing and used to know better what was going on... and I had used a monitor... should go back to using it. Just got this terrible feeling of not doing anything at the moment. I don't know where the monitor is ... got a feeling it's broken... I don't think it is tho. will find it tomo.
I just feel like daughter's been ill almost constantly with colds etc (nothing more serious) since their dad moved out. I don't feel I'm looking after the kids well enough by myself. and think i'm bit more depressed as small bubble has burst with their dad saying he's less interested in things recovering back to how they were. doesn't appear to be looking into AA meetings anymore. and turned up bleary red eyed and in an obvious bad mood to look after kids last time he had time off work.
Just struggling with no one to talk to... Parent Support Worker seems to only see the mask it feels like.. they help but not enough...going to groups is all well and good but just feels like a charade, those two hours you can pretend or even not or... I just find myself listening to my own voice handing out all this tons of advice (really wish I'd just shut up) and yet know that once you close your door to the world it's a whole other situation where effing positive affirmafu**ingations don't do sh*t. :)
Hi. Loads of hugs, even if virtual...
My youngest is a fussy eater. Mind you, even with the older three, my Mum would say if they're hungry let them have cereal before going to bed... Which they did, as it helped them sleep through. At least I think that's why!
Youngest has really had a rotten weekend. He's full of cold and has asthma. Very worrying when he's this bad. I've told him no school tomorrow, and find I'm just listening to him coughing.
Keep 'talking'. I find it can be so helpful typing things out. In some of my posts I've hammered them out, to be honest!
Please be kind to you. You're doing so much, doing all you can to make this work, yet seem to be so hard on yourself. Truly, you're doing so well.
Take care.
JaneHope what a rotten weekend, and no wonder you are so fed up. Well that is putting it mildly; the board rules do not permit me to swear! I am out and about first thing and want to send you a considered and (hopefully) helpful reply so will do that once I am back later. In the meantime, if getting it out in the open in a post helps even a tad then do that and have as many rants on here as you want, that is one of the things we are here for 
Thank you, it has helped to type;)
and I really do need to find that monitor...
Hi JaneHope. Glad you found it helpful to type it all out. You're tired, and feeling low at the moment, but you are doing a terrific job with the children. Keep focusing on that. I hope you have a better day today. Take care. xx
Hello again
Great that it eases things a bit to write it all down and tell us what is going on
Lots of issues, I guess Mother's Day brought all that stuff to a head. As mums ourselves we know that we carry a burden of guilt towards our children. As daughters we can acknowledge that we can carry it towards our mums too. Double bubble! You are NOT a complaining daughter. One of the hardest things in the world to cope with is a parent who is "faultless and bending over backwards": that automatically back-foots everyone else, doesn't it? I spend a lot of time counselling adults who have had parents like that, it really can play havoc with your head. So you have my every sympathy 
It sounds as if what you REALLY want is to go and hide for a few weeks, get some kip and generally recharge your batteries. Being a parent to little ones is soooo exhausting. You have some potential support around you in the form of the groups and also the Parenting Support Worker. I know what you mean about the masks, I am a consummate wearer of them myself 
but do you know what? these people can have no idea that you could do with some help and support if you do not tell them. Something about you being prepared to show yourself as vulnerable? Is there a Home Start scheme in your area? I think you would really be helped out by this if there is. The scheme provides a "buddy" for families with children under five.
On a practical basis, you feel let down by your children's dad turning up with a hangover and with him, as well as with your mum with the narcolepsy, you need to be sure that the children are 100% safe if left with either of them.
Sleeping: I wonder if the children sharing a bedroom once more would give you a more peaceful sleep? (and yes, I do hope you find the monitor) Sparkling has suggested bedtime cereal to stop the waking hungry. Next you need to tackle daughter's blocked nose. What does the GP say? Can the Health Visitor suggest anything? Have you tried Vic on her chest? Does it seem worse in damp or dry conditions? (am just thinking de-humidifier/humidifier here) Can you prop the head of her bed up on some books so it drains away better? What does she eat; would vitamin drops help her fight the colds off?
Hope that you feel a bit less fragile today as you go forward into the week. Have a think about the things I have suggested, and take care of yourself, you are doing a very tough job!
Hi JaneHope - no more positive affirmations for you then! I take it you are not keen on them! 
I am glad that your week got better, although mothers day put a spanner in the works.
I think Louise's post says it all and I don't want to repeat everything she has just said!
So just popping in to say 'Hi' and good luck with finding the monitor!
Hey all, havine a better few weeks, just!
Found both monitors, both not working!! But since warmer weather, L's sleeping much better, nose is clear at the moment. Did try S back in her room but he prefers mine and I don't mind it too much... his sleeping is mostly ok. He's stopped wearing nappies at night and actually that's gone really well - a few wet nights but he's been doing great for going on weeks now. He's just had his 3rd birthday so he's doing super really.
Have been trying to cook for em but still fussin... not too big a prob really tho.
Taking days slowly but their age is at a very copable one really. will look into Home Start scheme next time things get a bit tough - but just going to enjoy the sun a bit at the moment.
Hi JaneHope
It sounds like you're doing really really well.
I'm glad you're enjoying the sunshine, somehow it does seem to help a bit!
I found that taking things slowly was the easiest way to do things.
Great to hear from you JaneHope, glad that things are a bit easier. One day at a time is my best tip, best not to survey the general landscape, just enjoy what you can and get past what you can't. The Home Start thing, I would suggest you get the ball rolling anyway as these things take ages, if you wait till you are stressed then it will feel very onerous, good to get things in place at the ready.....bit of self-care there
Hey Anna and Louise,
Wanted to say that reading Louise's :
I spend a lot of time counselling adults who have had parents like that,
has really helped me feel a bit more confident that it isn't me and it could just be that I grew up with a very crazy mother.
And guess what? another stressful day with her.
part one :
I usually give up on discipline around her but we were with a friend and her daughter. and to help that side of things as well as give S something to eat, before I'd realised it, I'd said 'We're going home if you don't sit and eat your sausage in a bun'.
So I had to carry through with it. (we were at a park and they'd put on a lovely BBQ and disco for the kids in the neighbourhood to celebrate the wedding).
Whilst doing so, and having the 10 - 20 min crying fit, my mum comes near, I know she's going to de-rail me somehow, my arm out 'stay out of it!'. from 3 meters away 'You're so wrong! You're so wrong!'. So I left, with S. Leaving nana to take L back home with friend.
part 2:
Dad's car isn't working (due to lack of petrol for too long). So he got lift with nana back to nana's. He called me 45 mins ago to say he'd had to get out of the car before he hit her. She was spending the journey saying how if she'd seen anyone else behaving that way to their child she would have contacted social services.
The food thing is a constant issue, especially when out of routine. I wouldn't really have minded either way, but I know he's hungry as he's had breakfast, crisp and some fruit today. But I would have let it go had I not gone and said those fateful words, I was just hoping that they would work. which is why I had to then follow through with it. And S knows that nana will let him do what he wants. which at his age is pretty much the worst thing you can do.
so yeah... anyway... somehow still had a good day. helped to have support with the father. not sure where he's staying tonight as his hands were still shaking after exiting car...
Hi JaneHope
One of my many hats is as a parenting facilitator, and one of the golden rules on the course I deliver is.....if you say you are going to do something then do it. So you did it. Well done. Afterwards, any of us might reflect that maybe we would use another consequence another time but hey that is what being a parent is all about, learning as we go along.
I know the food thing is still an issue 
, taps into our most primitive instincts ("my role is to nurture my child")
As for your mum, I am glad you gleaned some reassurance from what I said about my counselling work. Social services indeed! because you took a child home from a party? Glad you had the support of the children's dad anyway. Children are very quick to sense who they can play up and who means business. There is little you can do about whether she lets S have his own way when she is alone with him but when you are there, it is Mummy's rules
I'm glad you had a good day though. Hopefully the other 'parts' will fade...
Life can be lonely.
However, recognising that these opinions aren't being supportive to you and all you're doing here is good.
You need supportive friends, or, as I have found, somewhere you can turn to and realise that you're not quite alone - for me, that is here.
Hopefully this friend won't come to stay again. Sometimes a quick chat on the phone or an email is keeping in touch, while keeping things at arms length until you have the strength and energy to cope with her...
The mouse thing. Every winter we had mice (I lived in a Welsh cottage when I was married, with fields all around us). They'd get into the attic through the stone walls and I'd listen to them scraping away in the insulation! Sometimes they'd get into the kitchen, and then we'd use humane traps. You'll get it eventually, although it only works if there is just the 'odd' one. I'd drop these mice off in the field by the school which was over two miles away. The children loved doing this!!!
With your daughter, does Vicks work?
With your son, the more attention you give to his eating, the worse he may be... I'm no expert in the food field though, and I'm not making light of your sadness, honestly.
I'm sorry nana is ill. My father-in-law is quite frail now - he has emphesema. My oldest and I popped in to see them yesterday after he had a haircut. Serious talk with eldest on the way home about Grandad's health. So very sad...
I'm sorry today is such a bad day.
Sending a load of gentle hugs your way. Hopefully you feel not quite alone...
xx