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to all single mums AND dads :)

chrissie84

heya i am a single mum and feel quite lonely at times, the majority of my friends are not parents or are married with kids or completely single and off out having fun all the time, unfortunately i dont have the funds or the babysitters to be able to get out very often to make new friends! i would like to meet new people that can relate to me on here at one space and also on facebook because i dont have access to one space very often! it will be nice to have other single parents that understand and can relate to how lonely it can sometimes be being a single parent!  look forward to maybe hearing from a few people soon :)

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 6:50pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi chrissie84

I agree single parenthood can be a very lonely place, especially in the evenings when the children have gone to bed.

There is the chat section on here and also an organsation called netmums that it is worth looking at, as well as things that are specific to your area, see our article  Making New Friends...loads of ideas for solving the loneliness problem.

Sorry but I have had to remove your surname and Facebook details from your post, we do not encourage people to post such personal info on this public board, one of our rules to try and keep everyone safe. Hope you understand.

What are you up to this weekend? I think the weather looks Ok for Saturday so that might be the day for getting out and about.

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 8:38pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi chrissie84, welcome to One Space. I hope you keep posting, as this is a great site, and you'll meet many online friends. I realise it isn't the same as 'real' ones, but it's brought me lots of support, advice etc. How old is your child/children?

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 8:41pm

Louisa_G
DoppleMe

Hey chrissie84,

i am new to this site also, and in the same situation. You could add my facebook but im not sure how you would search me if we are not allowed to post names on the board. Are we allowed to post emails?

I also use facebook more as its easier to access on your phone.

Id be happy for a chat any time.

Louisa

 

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 8:59pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi Louisa, we're not allowed to post e.mails either, as anyone could really get it, once on line. Not sure how you'd go about this one really. Everything is for security, which to me is brilliant rules.

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 9:07pm

Louisa_G
DoppleMe

yer i can completely understand the reasons. I dont think there is any way around it really. Facebook has no other search functions besides name and email.

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 9:14pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

sorry don't know a way around it either. Perhaps one of the moderators can help.

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 9:24pm

chrissie84

i understand i am sorry i didnt realise but yes they are brilliant rules :) thankyou for letting me know and i will be careful in future not to post any personal details

my daughter just turned three last saturday and is starting nursery on monday in the mornings so i am hoping to start chatting to some of the other parents although without being cheeky i seem to be the youngest parent all the others have had two and three children before so are much older i am also quite shy so i struggle to make new friends :(

but it is nice to maybe have the chance to chat to people on here so thankyou for commenting on my post :)

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 9:45pm

Louisa_G
DoppleMe

im only 27 lol..please dont make me feel old. Laughing

my eldest is 2 and a half and my youngest is almost 7 months old.

both boys.

Have you just become a single parent? or have you always brought your daughter up alone?

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 9:54pm

chrissie84

i am 27 too :) my daughters dad left me for another girl when i was 5 months pregnant and i havent seen him since, occassional e-mail from him and thats that.

dont get me wrong i am very happy being just me and the wee one and she is also happy as i said i just feel lonely sometimes i am lucky though coz i have an amazing family

how about yourself?

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 10:01pm

Louisa_G
DoppleMe

My two kids have different fathers. My first was planned and stuff, i was supposed to be getting married etc.. fell for a lot of lies, and he left me for another women when i was 6 months pregnant. Ive heard from him on and off since, but it got to the point i told him to just stay away and ive moved house so he cant find me because every time he came back he seemed mentally unstable and violent, long story, dont really want to get into it. Hes only ever seen his son twice and on both occasions he was more interested in talking to me. Im not going to put on here but he has done/said some unforgivable things towards his son.

My second child wasnt planned. I was only with his father for a year and we got a bit lazy with contraception. I wouldnt have an abortion so he quickly changed towards me and i dont see him either. Though i occasionally get the odd message. So ive always brought my 2 boys up alone, but i like it that way. Laughing

I probly dont have the greatest amount of support, but i manage fine in my childrens upbringing.. just the lonliness gets to me sometimes i guess,esspecially evenings. I tend to come online a lot then.

This is the first social site i have joined directed at single parents though, i thought it might be nice to chat and meet people with the same experiences as myself.

Posted on: October 21, 2011 - 10:21pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi again chrissie84

I guess it is because it is a public site that we have to be careful about personal stuff. Wink

The thing about the other parents being older than you, did you mean the other parents at the nursery? The netmums site I mentioned in my last post might be a way of meeting younger mums.....but don't discount older friends.I have close friends 10 years younger than me and 10 years older than me. I know what you mean though, to have some interests in common.

How are you feeling about your daughter starting nursery?

Hi Louisa_G

Nice to see you on this thread. Hope you are feeling some support from being here with us Smile

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 7:17am

trying hard
DoppleMe

Hi Louisa_G and chrissie84 welcome to onespace, i know how you both feel with the loneliness im the same not much family and only one good friend but she lives a good few miles away so dont see her very often, i come on onespace and it does really help with the loneliness , look forward to chatting xx

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 12:24pm

Jand56

Hi there,

 

I am also in similar position i'm 27 and  a single mum to 13 month girl, i've always been a single mum as my partner left me as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I feel so isolated as none of my friends have children and as you said seem to be able to go out and have fun and meet new people and although I love my baby to bits its such a change in your life that at times it can be so difficult.  Also when you go to baby groups I hardly ever meet single mums and its kind of hard relating to people who are happily married with babies as I think as you mentioned it can be soo lonely sometimes. 

I really am looking to meet and chat to people in the similar position.

J x

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 12:27pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hello Jand56. Welcome along Smile Do you have family for support to perhaps babysit once in a while? Yes, it can be lonely, but I found once my son started school, I did meet more people, not very many mind, as I don't like people knowing my business really. Look forward to 'chatting'.

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 12:32pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Jand56

Almost half of all children will live in a lone parent family at some time in their lives so there are plenty of single parents around...it is just that they are not all single at the same time and as your child gets older you will meet more and more parents who are on their own, or have been in the past.

There are lots of ideas for improving the loneliness in our article Making New Friends

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 1:51pm

Louisa_G
DoppleMe

hi Louise,

yer i am trying to include myself into some of the convosations, im still getting used to the site really. I agree friendship should'nt really be based on age, as i have friends of different ages also. Its nice having friends in different social circles also i find. Im mainly into RnB Music and most my close friends tend to be on that whole 'social scene'. But i also have some 'rocker' and 'mosher' friends and have recently made friends with someone i went to high school with who i never spoke to back then. She is very free spirited and i guess she would describe herself as a 'hippy' and we get on really well as we both have a child of the same age.

hi trying hard,

thankyou for the welcome. look forward to chatting also. How old are your little ones?

Hi Jand56,

I know exactly what you mean. It is a big change in your life. Esspecially at a young age. Ive been a single mum for 2 and a half years now and a lot of my friends have just diserpeared along that time. Some as soon as i got pregnant, others just slowley over the years. You quickly realise who are your real friends and who were just your 'drinking buddies'. Mainly the friends i talk to are online these days, like facebook and stuff. I try to just make the best of it, who says i cant enjoy my life just as much (if not more) since having kids? My social life now mainly involves my children. I have fun taking them for days out to the seaside, Tropical World, or just to the local parks or eating out etc. Although i do crave my own time a lot, or for the odd night out occassionally i get by and keep my sanity by taking my kids out of the house. Cold weather like this is a pain though. I can easily get depressed if i stay in the house more than three days in a row with only my 4 walls and my children getting naughtier each day from bordum. I have to constantly find them tasks to do. Usually painting, sticking or baking. Im trying to find a part-time job at the moment just so i can break the cycle and get out to socialise with more people.

Has anyone got any plans for their kids for halloween next weekend? We have been invited to a childrens party which i think my kids will love. Im just trying to think of ideas for making a costume for my 2 year old? Any ideas? My baby is going as dracula as i have my oldest boys costume saved over from last year that he will be wearing, but i cant afford a new one for my eldest, so im trying to think of things i can make up myself.

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 2:30pm

bigkhan84

true single parents can get very lonely jus like me

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 4:20pm

trying hard
DoppleMe

Hi Louisa_G

I have three children 14, 6 and 3 they can be very trying at times but are generally good kids, im a bit older than you (38) but i also dont think age matters when you need a chat xx

My younger two have been invited to a halloween party next sunday i was lucky that my mum bought them costumes they were only £4.99 each which is quite good, how about looking in charity shops ours is full of costumes at the moment. Good luck in finding a job xxx

Posted on: October 22, 2011 - 4:40pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Louisa_G

Yes I definitely agree about the staying in the house thing, even if the weather is terrible and you end up jumping puddles!

Hallowe'en, all I can tell you is the costume I did for youngest at a fancy dress when he was 2. I borrowed some red woolly tights from a friend who had a little girl, put him a red top on, and painted his face a bit and put some of those Hallowe'en horns on and then made a notice to pin to the back of his jumper that read Little Devil Wink

Posted on: October 23, 2011 - 8:32am

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi all and welcome to Chrissie84. I hope your daughter has had a good morning. How did it go? Did she enjoy herself, or did she cling to your leg and scream for you when you left??

I was always a younger mum at nursery, school and still now, at my daughters 6th form parents eve! But although I had low self esteem at the beginning. I soon took quite a liking to being the youngest. They were all quite envious of me being young, gorgeous (!!! Kiss) and the freedom that I had, not being married etc. So I started to take advantage of that and tried to see myself through their eyes!

Hi Louisa_G - good halloween costumes? What about dressing him all in black and then wrapping loads of bandages around him, a bit like an undressed mummy! With blood on his face of course!

Have you seen our Family Fun section of the site? There are some fun suggestions for Things to do on a Rainy Day in there amongst other articles.

Hi Jand56, please remember all that you see isn't for real, all relationships have hard times and lots of mums at these toddler classes are putting on an act, to try and prove to themselves and to others, that they are a great mum, wife, family etc.

Hi trying hard, I bet your kids will look smashing. Don't forget to take a pic and put it on our Family Quilt!

I started doing voluntary work when my daughter was quite young. It wasn't really an active choice, I kind of fell into it, but it was the best thing I could have done at the time. I had adult company, my confidence grew and I got some training and a break from my daughter.

I would highly recommend voluntary work Smile See if there are any opportunities in your area - Volunteering England or if you know what specific times and days you are available use this search on Do-It, start by filling in your area on the homepage and then you can change your availability on the next page.

Did you see anything interesting?

Posted on: October 24, 2011 - 3:02pm