apickard

hi, i am new to this but was wondering if anyone could give me a bit of advice

i am contemplating splitting from my partner , its not working anymore, i have a 11 month old son and a baby due in april, the problem i have is that having private rented for the last 4 years and being unemployed with no savings for deposit etc, i don,t know how to go about securing a home for me and the kids to move into straight away and on moving what do i do about basics like cots , furniture etc as if i move out he wont let me take anything with me , i am really worried that if i make the move it will be worse than what i am having to deal with just now , i.e. emotional abuse and being in tears every day ,,

i would appreciate any help or advice from someone who has been in the same boat as me and coped with it

 

thank you

 

 

Posted on: March 9, 2013 - 1:00am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi apickard. Welcome along to One Space. Sorry that you've found yourself in this position.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. I was wondering if you'd spoken to Women's Aid, as I'm sure they'd be able to help.

As for the furniture etc, perhaps you could look at Freecycle. Everything on there is free, and you can pick up some good things, from fridges to cutlery.

Please keep posting, as our parenting specialists will be along at some point, and they'll be able to offer more advice.

Do you have family or friends that you can turn to? It's a lot to go through, and you're so near to giving birth.

Posted on: March 9, 2013 - 8:35am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello there and welcome along

Hazeleyes has mentioned Women's Aid and if your relationship is abusive, this could be a real lifeline for you. See here (click)

If you decide to go it alone, you need to find out about your housing and money options. Click here to email our housing expert and find out about benefits by putting your details into this calculator.

You should receive Income Support for you and the children as well as Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit. As you say, it is the finding of rent and bond before any Housing benefit comes through, but Women's Aid may be able to help out with a place in a refuge for a while. Please give them a ring as soon as possible as you have a lot to cope with just now, at the end of your pregnancy.As Hazeleyes says, good to think about who else you can turn to and one biig tip I would give you is make up a kit of essentials such as your birth vertificate and your child's, your passport, anything official that is yours such as bank account stuff, and ask a friend/family member to look after it for you so if you need to move out quickly, your stuff is safe. Be very careful to cover your tracks though.

Posted on: March 9, 2013 - 9:01am

apickard

hi, hazeleyes

 

i will defo give womans aid a try , and in answer to your question , no i have no family to help me ,thats why its so scary making this move . freecycle sounds good , i will have a look at that ,

 thank you for your help ..

 

louise,

dont worry i plan to be very careful and cover my tracks , thank you for your help as well

 

 

Posted on: March 9, 2013 - 1:45pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello I have edited out your first name from both your posts but you also need to change your user name if you are using your real surname. To do this, click on My Profile at the top right hand of the page, then the Edit tab then where it sayds user name, delete your current one and type in a new, made-up one, and then click Save at the bottom.

Posted on: March 9, 2013 - 2:49pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi there and welcome from me too Smile

You ask the question that if you move will things be worse than if you stay. Well for one thing you won't have to endure the emotional abuse.

When I left my ex I ended up homeless with nothing at all, it was difficult, however I got through it and even though when my baby was small, all I had was a mattress on the floor in the front room (only carpetted room in the house), a kettle and a microwave (donated by health visitor), I was free to start rebuilding my life. Now many years on, I have all that I need/want.

If you make the break you are in control of the rest of your life, if you stay, he will be, unless you can find a way of changing your relationship.

Posted on: March 11, 2013 - 9:50am