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First time the children have seen him since Christmas. I give them £10 each for food ONLY and expect the money back (I refuse to supplement his visits).
He has driven them to a shopping centre 110 miles away (and back). They have bought their own dinner, 17 year old took youngests change and bought models. He has not spent a penny on them.
He could have taken them to a shopping 10 miles away and bought them lunch with all the fuel costs.
He's an absolute disgrace of a father.
The Git and Gittess is far too nice a name for them.
And I'm £30 down for the week.
T*sser.
Oh Sparklinglime I don't understand enough about the background to this story but it's obvious you are beside yourself with fraustration/anger/despair (delete as appli cable!)
I'm so sorry this has happened. It's unbelievable he took them so far just on a day's outing. Presumeably you gave them the money because of problems in the past? Do you think because he knew they had it that's why he made them spend it? And how come your 17 year old went against your wishes?
Sounds like an absolute nightmare for you with the finances. You're doing such a great job though so just hold on to that. You're an amazing Mum and your kids are really lucky to have you. You are balancing out all the Git-ness from the other side.
Hang in there.
Gem
x
Yes there have been issues in the past when he's taken them out and they've not eaten all day as he didn't have money to feed them.
My 17 year old has mild autism/Asperger's, but he got his younger brother to give him the money he had left...
I'll be ok tomorrow. I don't expect anything else really, but with money so tight... I'm desperate for a new pair of shoes!!
Thanks Gem.
if it was me i wouldnt send them with money, theyd get hungry the once, second time i would refuse contact on that basis that he wasnt feeding them.
does that make me bad?
so sorry s.lime, he is worse than a git!!
Hi sparkling
its so hard isn't it like we know what's best or what we'd do for our children and then we hand them over and their not cared for the best way possible.... Not the way we would ... By putting our children first and ourselfs last ... I hope you will get your new shoes soon honey, reading your post shouts out your such a good parent to your children
pat on the back from me
shame on him
sweet dreams x
Oh sparkling how totally ridiculous. Just when you think there is nothing he could possibly surprise you with, he "excels" humself. I think what I would do in the situ is give the children some sandwiches so they were not hungry but don't send any money.
Your feelings from the children's point of view must be so mixed...you are hurt for them, yet you don't want them to be hurt, yet you want them to see what he is like. And in the meantime you need shoes.
Sending you a massive HUG this morning
I do it as I want them to have a great day with their father.
I actually hadn't thought of the sandwiches. Perhaps I'll do cereal bars that won't get too warm on the stupidly long journies he does with them.
I did send them without money once - which is why I do give them money now...
I can only wear crocs now as my feet are so horrible (and have been for years). My birthday soon, so I might treat myself to some then instead of taking me and children out for the meal at the pub up the road! Even my birthdays cost me a bomb 
This time they don't seem to have had a great time. Probably as they were taken to a massive shopping centre - so many shops yet not able to go in them.
MiL phoned saying it must be odd for the children as it must be like going out with a stranger. He doesn't know anything about their lives. At the end of the day he didn't even when he lived locally...
It is sad, isn't it?
Four planned children, so very much wanted, yet he turns his back on them. I don't care about me, I have no interest. Yet for them, knowing he is about, him not replying to texts to my daughter so now even she doesn't bother.
He is a disgrace.
In theory, I think that will be it until Christmas. The Gittess's daughter (who's lovely) lives on the island, otherwise I'm sure they wouldn't visit at all. The Gittess has two daughters, but is only in contact with one, having fallen out with the second (not so pretty or bright) and her parents...
Hopefully today will be a happy day. Won't see youngest as his friend who spends holidays with his grandparents on the estate is up.
Thank you.
I really need the hugs at the moment. Feeling very lonely.
It is sad sparkling but remember we carnt change them or make them do what we want them to do to me reading your post you are an amazing mum but also an amazing strong women x
i do hope you get your new shoes do treat yourself we all need it ;)
take care x
I wish I could send you a new pair of comfy crocs too 
Thank you.
I will get some eventually 
Today I ran away.
Big hugs sparklinglime
I was speaking to MiL and it all sounds so much worse what went on Saturday. I might even encourage them to put their plans to him next time rather than let him set the agenda.
She used the word disgusting.
Hopefully he'll disappear into the woodwork now, ideally forever, but I suppose December is approaching...
Well a disappearing act sounds good on his behalf ... Not like he's up for farther of the year :-/
keep your chin up honey your doing a great job
hug x
I just don't understand how any parent could treat their own flesh and bloodline that. It's so sad. Big hugs x
Ah. They went to the cinema. There's one up the road...
I am honestly going to run away.