about myself and my life

Hi karen1234, welcome to One Space from me too!

I am sorry to hear you are feeling depressed.

I agree with hazeleyes, you have not been single for long, it is time to learn more about yourself, find confidence, lift your spirits and learn how to enjoy your own time.

No man worth being with, is going to want to go out with someone who is depressed. AND no man is going to make your life better (ok, maybe it will feel good for a short time, but on the whole, you need to find your own happiness first to have a successful relationship)

Are you working at the moment? If you children are younger do you go to playgroups?

Hi Karen,

Good to see you here, 7 months is still very early on.  I made the mistake of getting into a relationship fiarly quickly after splitting from my ex, that didnt work out and I think I should have focused on me and my kids at the time.  I have been messed around a lot by guys aswell, but i do keep telling myself that there is someone decent out there.  This site is a great source of support though x

Ha Karen, good to have you around.

Hi Sarah, welcome along to One Space. This is a great group for support and advice should you need it. Your holiday sounds lovely, I'll have a look at the website.

I've got one son, just turned 9, and have been on my own since the pregnancy, so don't know any different really. C doesn't see his father, though he did get a birthday card from him earlier this month, (shock, horror). He's never got a Christmas card or present, but it's something my son is very used too, and doesn't bother him.

Do your children have regular contact with their Dad?

Hi foxy 1975

Welcome to One Space

I have edited your post as there was a lot of publicity in it about the particular charity you mention. If this charity would like to be included in the events/organsations for single parents, please apply to the main office.

Hope that you are able to joln us in discussing day to day life as a single parent

Hi guys. Thanks for welcoming me. I do realise that my first post was a bit of a plug for a particular organisation, but it was just something good I had experienced as a single parent that I wanted to share. I don't work for them or anything! ;)

My children do enjoy regular contact with their Dad, so we are lucky really, I suppose. It isn't easy though. He lives 60 miles away, doesn't drive, and tends to arrive later than he says and blames the trains!! Of course I realise that it takes a huge a effort on his part to maintain contact, and am grateful that he bothers at all. But there are the usual issues - that he gets to 'treat' the children on Saturday afternoons (and of course they think he's wonderful) while I am the one struggling with the day-to-day care and organisation. My ex-husband is not available to help with practical issues around childcare, parents evenings, taking the children to parties, etc, or anything useful like that. I feel that I do the bulk of the work alone.

He also has a girlfriend, about 15 years younger than himself (and me!) who he got together with pretty soon after our split (although it took him a while to get round to telling me that).

What has helped is that his parents and I are able to maintain a positive relationship. We have had a few awkward moments, but on the whole they have been supportive, and have carried on being grandparents in the way they always have. They also live far away from us, but do take an interest in their grandchildren's lives.

I do still find the issues around contact very hard to deal with, sixteen months on from our split. My solicitor suggested that we use mediation, but at £160 for an initial meeting, that just isn't going to happen! (If I had that kind of money to spare, I'd rather do something nice for me and the children).

I guess that everyone finds their own pattern and way of dealing with contact issues after a while. We are still working on our Deed of Separation, it has taken ages to sort everything out. I'm looking forward to that being complete, 'done and dusted', as they say.

Thanks Louise. Hello sparklinglime, C, Mich and Hazeleyes too! I have been browsing through the threads. I'm kind of new to this, so had trouble finding my post again!! Feel free to point me in the right direction if I post in the wrong place or anything...

I very much enjoyed reading the thread about the positive side of single parenthood. Lots of those comments rang true, and brought a smile to my face! It is good to be able to celebrate our independence and confidence, isn't it? and I really don't miss finding my ex-husband's bits of chewed-off toenail on the bedroom carpet!

This website is very useful. I wish I had found it months ago, but am glad to have it now. :)

Sorry to have made you panic, Mich! The costs I mentionned were those of a local organisation that were recommended by my solicitors. They might not be typical of all mediators. And (this is really depressing!) the mediators are much cheaper than trying to sort these kinds of issues out through solicitors.

I think it is terrible that these services cost so much. The people who need them most - those who are in difficult situations - are unlikely to be able to afford to pay such huge fees. It just seems, from my point of view, that these organisations profit from people at a very vulnerable time in their lives. And that's on top of the money we have to pay the solicitors!

On the other hand, some people say that mediation really does help a lot with their situation, so I hope that you find some good mediators, Mich. They will have to be, at the price they charge, I guess... Good luck.