I am new to this but times running out and i need some moral support if nothing else !
I am 44 and have just found out I'm 9 weeks pregnant, I'm not in a relationship as such ! Babies father is married ! I knew all this and have never had any intention of splitting up his family ! We have know each other for almost 30 yrs ! I have recently on the past year come out of a ten yr Pretty horrible relationship.
So what started out as a friendship re kindled eventually led to something more intimate with current guy !
I am booked in to have a termination on Friday and am having a real problem accepting its the correct decision ! Logically it is, I'm old to be having another child , pretty much single and in turmoil !
The father will understand whatever I decide and I doubt him leaving his wife would make any difference to what I decide!
One benefit of being more mature is you kinda know what to expect in life !
Ironically I have always been so careful to practice safe sex ! Also how could I tell my parents !
I've waffled on and hope it makes some sense !
I have also got the most horrendous morning sickness and have been of work for 3 weeks !
I've looked at web sites for single mums, of which there are plenty, unfortunately for me they seem to be for teenagers ! Not 44,yr olds who should know better !
That's it really, thanks for taking the time to read this and if you made it to the end you deserve a cuppa ! Xx
Hi Biscuit
Eugh morning sickness, doesn't help the day go well or the mind think clearly!
You say that you are too old to be having another child, how old are your other children?
Have you written a pros and cons list? This can be helpful, however it doesn't mean you will get your answer.
I have found in the past that you will know the answer when you are sitting in the clinic and you get asked is this what you really want. It is crunch time and the answer is within you.
Time is short and I am wondering if you have contacted the Marie Stopes telephone helpline on 0845 300 8090, they are available 24hours a day. You could talk things through.
How do you feel about the father of the baby? Does he have other children? Would he want to be involved, physically or financially?
Are you working? so many questions!
At this moment in time, which way are you swinging? Imagine a year from now without the baby, do you feel you could see yourself, rebuilding your life, after an abusive relationship, finding new journeys and adventures to be had? Or do you see yourself with a newborn buying nappies and going to mums and babies playgroups?
Hi Biscuit
I want to wish you luck in what ever you decide.
Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about your age though, your health and so many other factors need to be considered too.
My Mum was furious when I told her I was pregnant - I'd been married for well over 6 years by then and was coming up to 29. So, to be honest, telling your parents might be surprising, and there are a few months for everyone to calm down and be practical.
My Mum had the knitting kneedles out very quickly.
I am not trying to sway any decisions, just trying to point out (badly) that I was terrified telling my parents too...
Thinking of you.
Hi Biscuit. Welcome along. Until you've definately decided what you want to do, can you postpone the appointment on Friday? Just for another week or so, give you some more thinking time. Like Anna says, try and imagine a year from now, with a baby, or without one. Also healthwise as Sparkling says.
I was 40 when I fell pregnant. It was scary, but I honestly felt as though I'd been blessed. I'd had a termination at the age of 19/20, and it was for all the wrong reasons, pressure from family etc etc. I didn't think I'd fall pregnant again, so when I did, not only was it a shock, but I was single, but totally delighted. I just knew I could do it, no matter what hurdles I faced. Not one day have I regretted having my son, now aged 9. Eight days after having him, I turned 41!! I wouldn't worry about anyone else, except yourself, and what you want, just as elle says. We're all here for you too, whatever you decide. Take care, and I do hope you keep posting to let us know how you are.
Hi biscuit,im sorry i cant offer you any advice as ive not been in this situation,although i did have a termination 5 or so years ago but i thought long and hard about it and that was the right thing for me personally,but i think you should do whats best for you,and to hell with what any one thinks,if you would like to keep the baby then you should as for what your parents think you are a grown woman and can do what you want and make your own decisions,and there are also up sides to being an older mum,
If you decide to have the abortion then thats your right aswell,i just think you should do whats right for you and what you want to do in your heart,wishing you the best of luck what ever you decide to do.x