Hello

Hello all,  I am new to the site. 

I recently split with my partner.  We had been together a long time but he has been suffering from depression for the last few months.  The hardest part is that he keeps telling me he misses me and things might change but he doesn't have the strength right now to deal with our relationship.

I am so scared.  despite the fact that I miss him so much I also have this fear of being alone for the rest of my life.  My friends are all married with kids.  I love spending time with my son but when he goes to his dads I have nothing to do but sit alone or sit in a friends house and watch them with their families.  Part of me thinks that if I could just get out and have a laugh things would feel better but I just can't seem to get there.

Hi Kelly

Welcome to the site

First of all depression is a serious illness, but there is help out there for the sufferer if they want it. There is a variety of anti depressants which if one doesn't help then there will be something that their GP will find, its a case of finding the one which best suits the person. If this is not the route they want, then there is counselling, and CBT.

The most important thing is that the sufferer gets the help, and if they love and want to be a part of the family, then come hell or high water they will do this.

My ex partner also used to say the same things to me, "he loved me and his daughter, but wasn't strong enough" I found that he was strong enough to do everything else though, he moved out, got another job, had a social life, all at the expense of us. I was like you, sat wishing things were different! Wondering what I could do to change, so that he would come back!

The thing is, it's not us that cause the problem Kelly. I'm not saying that your ex is doing the same, but sometimes you need to look at the bigger picture, and do what is best for your kids and yourself. Look to join groups, even if it is online groups to start with, the age my daughter was, I couldn't get out, so this suited me, and I have to admit, although I was living a "virtual life" it kept me sane.

Look forward to reading your posts

Take care

J xx