Single Dad i trouble

Hi, just seeking some desperate advice.  I am a single Dad of three, having always been their prime carer whilst my wife got on with her rarely-at-home career.  I am faced with losing my kids - against their wishes - because the mortgage is not being paid, following our separation/divorce after her affairs. Mum - being in a far better financial position - is trying to force us out of the house to rid her of the financial consequences of debt, but that will make us homeless.  In such a circumstance as I cannot get us re-housed - and even Shelter say the best we can hope for is B&B, which she will not accept - she says her parents will put in for custody - after all she cannot and has never had to 'cope' with kids!  I cannot believe this would happen if I was a Mum - correct me if I am wrong please because I do not want to come across as some 'male-radical', but I am even facing prison as I could not get childcare for the court hearing and was found in contempt - she turned up and said arrangements were in place even though they were not and I had a four hour plus journey to court!  What can I do.  I never expected or wanted this situation and strongly believe kids should have both parents but that that is now not the case is beyond my control.  As a Dad I fail as any do but I've been Dad and Mum virtually their whole lives and do not understand that this can be so completely undervalued by both her and the system.  Any advice would be welcome.  Thanks Ben

Hi Ben,

Welcome to the site

First of all I can fully understand where you are coming from, I am in exactly the same position as you, re ex forcing sale of house! Although you may feel that if you were a single mum things would be different, they certainly are not!

I live in Scotland, so law is a bit different regarding some issues, and I also have kept up the payments on the mortgage since my ex left, it is a struggle financially, and have many sleepless nights because of it. But I manage. I have been told by my local council, that if I am made homeless, then they will probably offer me B&B as well, but have to give me something more permanent within 28 days, this may be accom with a private landlord, which is higher rent etc, but I will still have my kids with me, which is the most important.

A court will not just move kids from their home, or the parent with care just for the sake of it, so try not to worry that you will lose them to their grandparents, also try not to jeopardise this by not making proper arrangements for them to be looked after. If you have to attend court, then I think that you can claim childminding expenses from them, look into that first though, as I said its different up here than in England.

Is your ex making the mortgage payments? or contribute to their upkeep?

Get proper legal advice Ben!!!!!

Take care and keep in touch

J x