Scared single Mummy

Hi, My name's Kate and i'm a newly single parent.

I have two Children, my son is 8 and my daughter is 21months and i'm expecting another baby in March!

I have no idea how i will manage with 3 children by myself and would love to hear from anyone who has some ieas of how to get through this!

Hi Kate and welcome.

I am Laura and I am a Single parent to an 11 month old little girl.

hi kate, I am a single parent to just one child and i always think that maybe i should have had another, i have friends who are also single parents and one who as five chldren, believe it or not they all help each other, so keep your chin up and dont be scared just look forward to your third child and enjoy i am sure you will be fine

Good luck

Well i've just found out i'm expecting a boy. My ex partner didn't seem bothered one way or another so a friend came along to my scan with me. I don't understand how he can go from being a wonderful father and partner to not really caring.

On a more positive note the scan helped me to feel happier about things and i know i'll manage somehow! My friend gave some good advice. She said if its hard to look forward and it hurts to look back, just look beside you and i'll always be there!

Hi Kate,

I have recently had my fourth child as a single mum and I can assure you that is managable. I was a terrified when I first found out I was having a fourth and his father wasn't interested, but I stayed focussed and am pleased with how things have turned out. Mine are 14, 10, nearly 2 and 8 weeks. Yes it goes without saying there are times when it can be a little tough, but there are many up sides too. Ultimately you and your kids will be proud of each other.

The only thing I would say is don't try to be perfect and definitely enjoy it as you already know they change so quickly. If you can make a little time for everyone including yourself at some point during the day you will be well on the way to having fun.

And don't be scared to say you need help, I have been very lucky to have some good friends, but I am sometimes so independent I hate asking. And when I don't they are nice enough to tell me off and remind me that they care.

Hang in there, enjoy the pregnancy and rest where you can (I know with a toddler it can be easier said than done).

Good luck

Jerri

x

Previously Katie Wood wrote:

Hi, My name's Kate and i'm a newly single parent.

I have two Children, my son is 8 and my daughter is 21months and i'm expecting another baby in March!

I have no idea how i will manage with 3 children by myself and would love to hear from anyone who has some ieas of how to get through this!

 

Hi Jerri,

Sounds like you have your hands full too! I'm not very good at asking my friends for help as although they always offer, i think i can be superwoman and do it all by myself. I guess i need to try harder to say yes!!

Thanks for the advice, you sound like you are managing pretty well with your 4.

I've not had the easiest pregnancy so far but it appears to be getting better so i'm trying to enjoy it.

Kate xx

Hi Kate

I remember when i  found out i was expecting my second child.  Even though

we had planned getting pregnant i still had 'them' weird feelings us mums-to-be get

when that little blue line starts doing its thing!  Im a single parent of 2 (this is

because my children's father sadly passed away 3 months ago, still very raw)

children.  My daughter is 5 and my son is 2.  Like i say, we had been trying for a baby

for sometime (when i say trying, i mean not taking any precautions, not that it

was part of our daily routine!) but then the panic kicked in.  I was thinking all sorts,

"How will i cope while your'e at work?" "Ive not got enough love for anyone else". 

I was very scared to say the least but what i didn't realise was it's part of our nature

to be a mummy and before i knew it he was here and i was a mum of 2!!!  Over night

i had become a mummy to a boy as well as a girl.  What more could i of asked for?

(a decent night sleep by any chance??)  My son has had the worst case EVER of

colic (which no one had warned me about!),the worst teething etc etc... But now

I wouldn't change a single thing.  Obviously I'd give my right arm for my partner back

but thats impossible and ive only just learnt to live with that.  Sorry,gone off the point there!!

My point is YOU WILL MANAGE! You probably thought you wouldn't manage with

your 2nd.

Good Luck xxx Be positive and keep smiling xxx

Hi All,

Who knew that your life would take the path it has.  The most amazing thing though is our power to adapt to our circumstances and make the best of what we have!

I am very proud of my family of two.  As a single parent you can experience an amazing closeness and awareness that you might not otherwise have had.  Practicality and realism are also the order of the day...there are times when your patience is spent and there's no-one else to step in.  You will find the strength you need. 

I've been a single parent for four years, here's my worldy wisdom on the top principles, for what it is worth:

1.  Celebrate your family.  Don't apologise for it, or feel that you are not living the 'perfect life'.  Families come in all different shapes and sizes.  I have found that believing in your family, as it is, is one of the most important lessons to learn.  Celebrate it, talk about it, believe it.

2.  Be organised.  Think ahead of the challenges you will face in your daily activities and take action before hand to prevent the challenges from becoming a big problem.  Simple things like going to the toilet before shopping or dinner out.  When they are a baby, set them up on a safe bouncer so you can take a shower.  That sort of stuff. 

3. Be balanced.  Develop family rules...do all the same stuff you imagine you would have been doing as a coupled parent.  Children need the same rules, boundaries, routines etc that they would have if they were being raised in a family with two parents.

4. Select your language.  Be careful in the words you choose with your child and choose positive ways to describe your family situation to help them develop the words they will use with their peers. 

Apart from that, go easy on yourself, it's easier to loose your rag when it's just you and there's no-one to diffuse or take control.  LAUGH, as much as you can. 

Phew...big download there...hope some of it helps!!!

Amanda

Thank you everyone for all your positive comments.

Everyday gets a little easier and i feel a bit more ready to cope with it all and i'm getting less scared!!

When my daughter gives me a little giggle and learns a new trick or my son comes home from school pleased because he got all his spellings right again, i know i must be doing something right!!

Baby has starting giving me a few hearty kicks and i just can't wait to meet him now, seems like a long way off but i guess he'll be here before you know it. Now i'm getting over the feeling sorry for myself stage, i'm starting to realise just how strong i can be when i need to be. Now thats something i didn't know about myself!!

Kate x

Previously Katie Wood wrote:

Hi, My name's Kate and i'm a newly single parent.

I have two Children, my son is 8 and my daughter is 21months and i'm expecting another baby in March!

I have no idea how i will manage with 3 children by myself and would love to hear from anyone who has some ieas of how to get through this!

 Hi my name is Zoe and my husband left 6 months ago. I have a gorgeous son who is 3. I cannot offer any advice I'm afraid as I dont know how to get through things myself! I work full time and dont have any family close by, so things are tricky to say the least. This is the first time I have accessed anything like this site -but I need advice/help/somewhere where other people understand! Sorry again I have been no help whatsoever

Previously Katie Wood wrote:

Well i've just found out i'm expecting a boy. My ex partner didn't seem bothered one way or another so a friend came along to my scan with me. I don't understand how he can go from being a wonderful father and partner to not really caring.

On a more positive note the scan helped me to feel happier about things and i know i'll manage somehow! My friend gave some good advice. She said if its hard to look forward and it hurts to look back, just look beside you and i'll always be there!

I know exactly how you feel, my friend cam with me to my gender scan as my ex couldnt be arsed.

Now my baby is 13 weeks he see's her once a fortnight and is missing out on everythink.